We'd Hoped to Avoid it, But...

...I'm on bedrest now. Friday night I was having contractions that didn't go away even when I laid down so I headed off to the hospital, again. I was expecting to be monitored overnight and let go in the morning but I ended up staying til today. Long, long 36 hours. Despite the fact that my cervix is still unchanged and the fetal fibronectin test (which would detect impending labor) was negative, the doctor decided to administer Betamethasone, a steroid to mature the babies' lungs, just in case I do go into labor really soon. It's given in two doses 24 hours apart so I had to stay in the hospital. And then when he discharged me he told I was now on bedrest.

It's kind of frustrating, because the contractions that sent me to the hospital Friday were not really much different than what I've had for weeks. And all the clinical signs show that I'm not having preterm labor. But he used the phrase "err on the side of caution" several times so here we are. I am limited to the bed and couch from here on out; thank goodness I at least have "bathroom privileges!" Funny, our care group has been reading a book about contentment so I have lots of convicting thoughts floating around in my head. This doctor-ordered bedrest is really a God-ordained circumstance for our good. It is not easy to accept but I know it is part of His plan for these twins and the rest of our family. I am praying for increased contentment.

Before I even thought of heading to the hospital, Thursday was a hard day with the kids that made me realize I needed to cut back my activity even more. So Zach started cutting back his schedule to the bare essentials and I made arrangements for friends to watch my kids several mornings. Now we are in the process of expanding our pleas for help to cover all of the time he is at work. It is so humbling to have to ask for help and rely on others to do so much. I am endlessly thankful to have such a wonderful group of friends here--so many have already stepped up with offers to help.

So what am I going to do with myself? The day and a half I spent in the hospital got a little boring at times, even with lots of TV channels to choose from. (We don't have cable or satellite at home so channel-surfing is a rare experience these days.) And all that downtime was just the tip of the iceberg! Hmm. I've ordered some prints that I'll need to put in albums when they arrive. I realized a few weeks ago that there are some gaps I need to fill in to finish Esther's baby book. I never made a 2011 family video compilation. And I'm sure I'll read a lot. Any cool suggestions for other ways to fill my time?

Pigtails!

27 Week Pictures

I don't want to get all complain-ey, but I gotta say it, this pregnancy is getting hard.  Physically hard, emotionally hard. Random headaches, little pains from my joints loosening up, contractions, plus near-constant worry about whether the contractions are sending me into preterm labor...I just try to focus on getting through one day at a time. And try not to think too much about how many days are (hopefully) left.

Everything looks good right now, though, so much so that my MFM thinks the danger of TTTS is largely past and doesn't want to do another ultrasound for a month.  He also told me yesterday that he thinks the chances of making it to 36 weeks, and therefore delivering at Indiana, are good. Now, I'm a bit skeptical about that. After delivering my last (single) baby prior to 36 weeks, it's just hard for me to believe my body would hang on that long.  I know it would be best for the babies but I'm far from convinced it will happen.  And I really really don't want to deliver in Indiana, then discover one or both babies has a problem and needs to be sent to the NICU and hence away from me.  Been there, done that, trying to avoid a repeat. So that's something I may have to push with my doctors. I toured the maternity center and NICU in Johnstown yesterday, by the way, and really liked them. I would feel very comfortable delivering there and I really like the way the NICU is set up, should we need it.

Babies weigh about 2 1/2 pounds each right now, give or take 5 ounces each.  So I'm carrying a total of 4 to 5 pounds of baby. Goodness.  Feels like a lot more.

3 out of 4 pictures I was given this week were of Baby A's
profile.

And then I got this picture of Baby B's foot!  It was funny
how it appeared several times on the screen so clearly. At one point
this little one was kicking his brother in the behind.  Troublemaker
already. :)

Big Boy (Bed)

(Hey look, a post that's not about pregnant Courtney!)

After spending about two years in a crib and about two years in a toddler bed, Austin finally grew up to a real big boy bed today. We ordered it at the end of January and weren't expecting its delivery for a few more weeks but got a happy surprise this week. The look on Austin's face while it was being assembled in his room was priceless.  He eagerly brought me his pajamas, socks, underwear, etc. to put in the drawers and he couldn't wait to pick out some books and animals to put on the shelves. All through lunch he asked if he could go upstairs for his nap. (Which is especially funny because he only falls asleep once or twice a week these days.) Most days his rest time is on the couch downstairs but how could I refuse him the chance to take a nap in his brand new bed?  And he fell asleep--bonus time for Mommy!

Sorry, I think this is a bit blurry.

Bonus picture of Esther!
(taken by Daddy last night)

25 Week Pictures

Cute!

Just as cute!

Mommy at 25 1/2 weeks.  This post was a week in the making.

These are actually more like 24 1/2 week pictures of the babies; my usual schedule of visits to Johnstown is off a bit between the availability of the doctor and my childcare. (Love you, Liz!) I have had the same ultrasound tech three out of the last four times I think, which is neat cause I feel like she's getting to know me and the babies.  This was a quick visit to check fluid levels, etc, and everything looked fine. I talked to the doctor a bit more about end-of-pregnancy scenarios and this time he sounded more willing to take the pregnancy past 34 weeks if the babies continue to look as healthy as they have, but definitely no longer than 36 weeks.  Now that was before my weekend hospital stay; I think at this point Zach and I will be feeling pretty happy if I manage to not go into labor before 34 weeks.

One little note: if you actually view my blog (as opposed to using a reader) you might have noticed that I've changed my lilypie ticker a bit.  A few times, actually; I couldn't decide what end date to use and I realized I had put in the wrong starting dates. But I fixed my own errors and I've decided to optimistically set if for a 36 week pregnancy.  So May 6 is the date to which we're counting down. This weekend shook me up a bit; now every day feels like a little victory.

How I Spent My Saturday Night

Last night I had the dubious pleasure of an overnight stay at Indiana Regional Medical Center.  While the accommodations were sparkling clean and the staff was friendly and helpful...restful it was not.  Be assured, Mommy and babies are both fine but we were there just in case.

I've been having sporadic BH contractions for quite a few weeks but yesterday afternoon while looking at a magazine on the couch with Austin I noticed them consistently over a period of about 40 minutes.  Feeling contractions while completely at rest is unusual for me; I usually feel them when I get up from sitting or lying down, or when I climb a flight of stairs.  So I decided to lay down for awhile and drink some extra water, knowing that's what my OB would tell me to do.  The contractions abated except for when I got up to answer the phone. Then Zach called me downstairs to eat dinner and they started up again. So after dinner I called the doctor, who indeed told me to get off my feet and drink fluid, and that if they continued I would need to go to the hospital for monitoring. After feeling a few contractions while lying on the couch, we decided I should go to the hospital.

That was about 7:00, I think. I headed off to the L&D floor where the friendly nurses (and I mean that; I've never met a staff person at our hospital I didn't like) hooked me and the babies up and watched us for awhile.  No contractions detected. My doctor initially told them to watch me until 11 or so, but a few hours later he called back. He had changed his mind and decided I should be monitored overnight just in case.  So my wonderful friend Liz popped over to my house to get a few necessary items for me and brought them up and I prepared for a long night.

Sometime after midnight, following another session of monitoring the babies' heartbeats (they were on the monitors on and off; I had a uterine monitor on constantly), the nurse finally turned off the light and left me to try to get some sleep.  I was on my right side and felt a few contractions.  The nurse popped back in and adjusted the monitor.  A few more contractions.  She came back in and told me to lay on my back for awhile and see what happened.  Nothing, basically.  So after a bit she turned the light off again and I lay on my left side.  More contractions, maybe 6-8 in 45 minutes.  So lights came back on, doctor was called, an IV started to make sure I was super hydrated, and a drug administered to stop the contractions.  And I didn't have any more for the rest of the night.  And I even got an hour or two of sleep, which is an hour or two more than I was expecting.

My doctor came in to see me this morning and checked my cervix.  The good news is that these contractions are not causing any changes in my cervix; in other words, they don't seem to be signs of preterm labor.  The bad news...there's no way to tell at what point they will start causing cervical changes. So basically I'm just supposed to rest as much as I can, drink a lot of water, and if we have any concerns about the contractions I feel, back to the hospital I go. Not as black and white as I'd like the advice to be but there you go. Zach and I have been discussing how we can even further reduce the amount of activity I do while keeping his extra burdens to a minimum.  (Example: Esther is about to cease being a cloth-diapered baby.)

The last few days have been very hard for me emotionally and physically. Even though I know we're doing what's best for our babies, it is difficult not to feel terribly inadequate as a wife, mother, and homemaker.  It is so easy to worry about the possibility of early labor or having to go on bed rest.  My Bible reading plan brought me to Psalm 33 this morning while I was waiting for the doctor and I was so thankful for these words:


The king is not saved by a mighty army;
A warrior is not delivered by great strength.
A horse is a false hope for victory;
Nor does it deliver anyone by its great strength.
Behold, the eye of the LORD is on those who fear Him,
On those who hope for His lovingkindness,
To deliver their soul from death
And to keep them alive in famine.
Our soul waits for the LORD;
He is our help and our shield.
For our heart rejoices in Him,
Because we trust in His holy name.
Let Your lovingkindness, O LORD, be upon us,
According as we have hoped in You.


My hope and strength is not what delivers me, it is the Lord.  And He will lead us through the remaining weeks of this pregnancy, however many they may be.

Rest Day

This has been a busy week.  Actually, pre-pregnancy it would have been a rather average week, but a minimum of activity makes me feel quite busy these days.  Hosting a book group at my house Monday evening (and the cleaning required beforehand), making cookies for Austin's Tuesday preschool class, morning and afternoon doctor appointments yesterday and craft group last night...it's really not so much to do but I am just exhausted after the last four days!  And I can feel the consequences: more Braxton Hicks than I was feeling last week, despite staying well hydrated..

So today is a Do Nothing day.  It's raining outside, which makes staying in and Doing Nothing even more appealing.  Of course "nothing" is not exactly nothing when there is a three year old and a one year old on the premises, but I'm doing my best.  I brought the computer and a big stack of diapers downstairs this morning in an attempt to minimize trips up and down the stairs.  I'm spending lots of time on the couch while I watch the kiddos play. (Which takes a lot of encouraging; despite the DOZENS of toys in this room they seem to think that if I'm sitting on the couch they should just sit on the couch, too.)  We may very well break our one video a day rule.  And hopefully by the end of the day I will feel better.

23 Week Pictures

Do I look big?  I feel big.  This shirt will be retired after this wearing; wouldn't be keeping me decent if not for the Bella Band.

And that, friends, is a belly that only has 2.5-3 pounds of baby in it. The babies weigh 1 pound 5 ounces each, give or take 3 ounces, according to Friday's ultrasound.  Let's just try not to dwell on what it will feel like, adding nine more pounds of baby, okay? For my sake.

But the babies look healthy and that's what counts. Their growth is right on target, they are super-active, and fluid levels, bladders, blood flow, etc. look like they should.

The rather significant thing to come out of my US appointment last week was my MFM telling me that he feels there is more and more data supporting delivery of monochorionic twins at 34 weeks.  He says we'll definitely look at how the babies are doing and possibly go as far as 36 weeks, but I had the distinct impression that he favors an earlier delivery.  I've been doing some research myself today and finding mixed opinions, but enough that supports his idea to convince me that if he says deliver at 34 weeks, I won't argue.  That will probably mean some NICU time for the babies, something I'd really been hoping to avoid, but if it gives them a better chance at life and long-term health...obviously that's the priority.  An early delivery also means I will almost certainly choose to deliver at my MFM's hospital, which is 45 minutes away but has a NICU.

So 34 weeks...that is only 11 weeks away.  Whoa.  Lots to get ready before then, very little energy to do it with.

Storytime Cuteness

While reading a story with Austin before rest time this afternoon:

"Why does that pig have tutus all over him?"

Love it. :)

Sunday Morning

Esther tucked herself into her brother's bed.  Perhaps she was
foreshadowing: later in the day we placed an order for a twin bed
for Austin, paving the way for this to be hers.

After Daddy being out of town for three days, there was a lot
of wrestling to catch up on.

This is what the floor around Austin's bed looks like every
morning these days. He asks to open the closet door when he goes
to bed so he has a bit of light for looking at books.  Love my little
bookworms.

21 Week Pictures

One more ultrasound today; having so many has really made this pregnancy zoom by. Today's was just to check bladders, fluid levels, and blood flow through the umbilical cords. Those are the things that would indicate TTTS if it was happening.  But it's not!  Babies look very healthy and quite active.  According to the tech, they were practically wrestling each other.  Funny how they can move around so much and all I feel is a few little taps!

What a clear profile!  Nose, lips...amazing.

Not quite as clear, but theoretically identical to Baby A's profile. :)

And here's me:

So just tonight on FB, I have seen belly pics of two pregnant acquaintances, one 25 weeks along and one 32 weeks along.  I look so much bigger than them, Zach and I couldn't help breaking out in laughter as we looked at the pictures. This twin thing is crazy.

Animal Sounds

In typical one-year-old fashion, Esther has begun learning animal sounds. For a long time her repertoire was limited to "bah bah" and "cak cak" (for sheep and ducks) but recently "mmm" (moo) has been added and occasionally "onk" (oink).  These animal sounds alone would be pretty cute, but you know what I find really adorable?  That this basic collection of sounds can be adapted to so many animals.  All birds say "cak cak," any animal even remotely sheep-like, such as the gorilla or porcupine in one of our animal books, says "bah bah." I love this learning to talk phase, and what is best is that I'm not stressing about it like I did with Austin.  I have absolutely no idea if Esther is saying a "normal" number of words but I'm enjoying every sweet sound that comes out of her mouth.

19 Week Baby Pictures

They're a few days late thanks to all the sickness going around our family, but here are the latest baby pictures that I know Gran and Grandma have been waiting for.  My ultrasound Monday showed two healthy babies!  Baby B is still larger than Baby A by a bit (12 ounces vs. 10 ounces) but with the margin of error for measurements it is not a concern at all.  Their organs (heart and bladder in particular) look perfect so once again no signs of TTTS. I'm so thankful for every sign of health we see.  A higher-risk pregnancy like this has really led me to ponder the awesomeness of God being both the creator and the sustainer of life.

It's getting harder to get a good view of both babies at the same time;
they look so crowded in there already!  So I appreciate the tech
doing this split-screen thing to put them side by side.  They're
watching you!

19 Week Mommy Picture

There you go, that's what approximately-halfway-to-delivery-of-twins looks like.  Sheesh, am I that big already?  But I am right on track with my hoped-for weight gain (about 20 pounds to date) so I guess I'm as big as I should be.

I am starting to be more uncomfortable, although I am thankfully mostly free of pregnancy complaints like heartburn that I hear can be worse with twins.  It's little things like bending over the sink to wash my face at night and feeling like my belly is totally in the way.

The twins have gotten noticeably more active in the last week or so, which I love.  It's so reassuring to feel those little flutters.  I know it should have sunk in by now but it still blows my mind that there are two babies inside!

Rough Night

Last night was perhaps among the most challenging Zach and I have endured as parents.  Let me back up a few days. We arrived home from our massive holiday trip on Saturday night around 8pm.  After two grueling days in the car we were ready to just unload the van and relax. But around 8:30 Austin started throwing up and continued to be sick for most of the night.  The next day he seemed to feel better.

But you know how these things are; rarely does a stomach bug stop with one family member. We just hoped the illness would not hit too many of us at once and be as short-lived as it seemed to be for Austin. Not to be the case as it turns out.  Zach started feeling sick around dinnertime yesterday, Esther threw up for the first time right before her bedtime, and it hit me at 10pm.  So you can imagine the kind of night we had.

These kind of nights (which are thankfully rare in our house) teach me so much. That God's power is made perfect in weakness.  To be thankful for a heavy-sleeping three year old who barely stirred through many pajama and sheet changes across the room for his sister. That my plans (unpacking our suitcases, doing laundry, cooking extra meals to freeze) are not as important as I think. The busy week I had envisioned has turned into a rest and recover kind of week. And everything will be okay.