Birthday Boys

Joshua (left) and Jude (right)

Happy Birthday, Joshua and Jude! (And Uncle Heath, too!) Joshua David was born at 5:10 this morning, measuring 4 pounds 14 oz and 17 ¾ inches; Jude Andrew was born at 5:15, measuring 5 pounds 6 ounces and 18 inches.

Even for us, this birth was a quick one. I was lying awake in bed this morning (lots of pregnancy insomnia for me in the last few months) when I felt something like a punch in my stomach from the inside. Didn’t feel like an ordinary baby kick, much stronger and it hurt! Then I felt the fluid and I knew my water had broken. That was around 3:45. So Zach and I got dressed, finished packing my bag, woke up Mom to let her know what was going on, and were headed to the hospital by around 4:15.

We live close to our local hospital so it was about 4:30 when I was getting into the hospital gown and getting hooked up to the monitors. And that’s when my contractions (which, you know, I’ve been having for about two months) started getting uncomfortable. And uncomfortable turned into painful within five minutes. The contractions were coming one after another; at most I had 30 seconds between each one. The nurse checked me and I was 8 cm shortly after arriving but by the time they called the doctor and he arrived (thankfully he lives close, too) I was fully dilated and ready to push. Joshua was born, then they did a quick ultrasound to make sure Jude was head down. He was and so was born with the next contraction.

If you’re doing the math, that’s a mere 40 minutes of real labor and births only an hour and a half after my water breaking. Crazy.

Joshua’s condition looked pretty good from the beginning, but Jude stopped breathing after his first cry and had to have some extra attention from the doctors and nurses. Then he seemed okay. But within a few hours it became apparent that they were having some respiratory distress, Jude especially. So our pediatrician made the call to send them to a NICU. That was not what we were hoping for, obviously, but given their gestational age (34 weeks 1 day) we were not surprised. Their condition, especially Jude’s, is quite similar to Esther’s a few years ago so it feels like familiar territory we are walking through. I am so thankful for the way God arranges the details of our life: that scary, emotional experience a few years ago has allowed us to approach this chapter of our life with more confidence and less fear.

Zach got to go visit the babies this afternoon in their new hospital home. (We opted for a different NICU than Esther went to, one that is only 45 minutes away.) They are doing pretty well. Both are on supplemental oxygen through a nasal cannula, Joshua at 20% O2 (close to the concentration of regular air) and Jude is at 35%. Their blood tests look okay so far so no antibiotics at the moment. Their NICU nurse was impressed by their size considering their age.

But enough medical stuff. These babies are cute! They have blond peach fuzz and adorable noses. Do they look identical? I guess so. Jude is noticeably bigger in person but I already have trouble telling them apart in pictures. We haven’t spent enough time with them to know if there are any easily-seen birthmarks…I’m kind of hoping for something like that.

I am hoping to be discharged tomorrow morning, then I’ll be off to Johnstown to spend some time with our babies!

Joshua

Jude

Joshua showing off the pouty lip he inherited from Esther

Jude ready to go to Johnstown

34 Weeks...Ready?

In the weeks before I was put on bedrest (i.e. when I still went out and saw people occasionally) I got asked a lot if we're ready to have our twins. Hmm...good question. Is one ever ready to add two newborns to a household that already includes small children? I think probably not.

But ready or not, they're coming soon. In a pregnancy that we have always known would not last a full 40 weeks, getting to 34 weeks has always been a goal, with 36 weeks like icing on the cake. (One post I read on a message board said 34 weeks with twins is like a bronze medal, 35 weeks a silver and 36 weeks is the gold. I like that analogy.) So here we are at 34 weeks! Two weeks or less to go.

In terms of equipment, clothes, etc. we are fairly prepared. We have yet to acquire a non-jogging double stroller but otherwise I think all major baby items are in our house already. We have two cribs and two pack n plays. Two exersaucers, one swing, a couple bouncy seats. My mom has spent hours organizing both baby and big kid clothes so that all four children's things fit neatly into the kids' closets and drawers. (Thanks, Mom!)

But a big question on my mind is, is my heart prepared to be a mommy of twins? I know this is going to be a season of exhaustion, busyness, and sacrifice for my kids like I have never experienced before. And I am by nature a selfish person. Praise God that through Christ He has not left me in my natural state! I will need His grace and mercy more than ever in the days to come. I have been slowly reading Loving the Little Years by Rachel Jankovic lately (slowly because there's so much to digest) and it has given me much insight into particular areas where I struggle and need/will need God's help as I parent (gulp!) four four-and-unders. Might even have to dedicate a blog post or two to some of the ideas rolling around in my head from that book. So good. If you have little ones, it's a must-read.

But for now it's time to lay down again...I am doing my best to be an obedient bed rest patient. :) Having (somewhat surprisingly to us) made it this far, I'm newly encouraged to do everything I can to keep the babies inside til 36 weeks. Going for the gold!

Two cribs! One of them is serving as a "safe-from-the-kids"
storage area at the moment but it will be ready when needed.

Look how nice Grandma made Esther's closet look!

A Special Visit

This is kind of old news, but since the blog is the closest thing to a scrapbook that I have I wanted to write about it anyway. I'm talking about the amazing visit I had from my sister recently. But not just my sister: she brought my new little niece, Olive May, with her!

My mom had been planning a visit to us for quite a while and when I got put on bed rest she moved up her arrival by about a week. So the Thursday before last I was just sitting on the couch waiting for her to get here. She walked in the door...and then my sister came in right behind her with an adorable baby girl! To say I was surprised is an understatement. Shocked! Amazed! And totally touched that Megan would drive 900 miles with an infant to visit us.

Thanks for brightening up a few days of bed rest, Megan and Olive! I love you!

A Little Dinnertime Guilt

Esther is not a great eater at dinner time. She usually eats her veggies (as long as we serve her favorites: corn, peas, or carrots, and recently, broccoli), nibbles on and perhaps even makes a sizable dent in any bread being served, but an entree...forget it. If she eats three bites we're thrilled. Finish the portion and we're over the moon. And as long as she'll eat one bite, however tiny and even if we have to force it into her mouth, we have come to terms with this and feel like we're doing all right as parents in the food department.

So last night we had leftover Easter ham, corn, and parmesan bread for dinner. Esther actually ate a fair bit of everything (ham is probably her favorite meat) so when she started playing with her food instead of eating it Zach asked if she was done; we were more than satisfied with her consumption. She said "uh-huh," followed immediately by a hopeful "teet?" (treat). Yikes! Scary when a child thinks dessert is a given before the age of two! Can you tell we've had a long streak of Christmas candy/Valentine's candy/desserts brought with dinner from friends/Easter candy?

Four!

Brand New

One

Two

Three

And now four!

I have felt something similar each year: I can't believe I have a (1,2,3) 4 year old! Four years since this little boy popped into the world and made me a mommy. As I've heard it said, the days are long but the years are short. When he climbs on the bed or couch to snuggle with me, I remind myself to enjoy it because all too soon the day will come when he doesn't want to snuggle with Mommy every day. Although parenting this four year old brings its share of frustrations, they are far outweighed by the joys.

This four year old, who hardly spoke real words until age 2 1/2, is now a big talker! He often asks the meaning of unfamiliar words and is developing quite a large vocabulary. It is fun (or convicting) to hear things come out of his mouth that surely came out of our mouths first. And when he talks, he expects a response...or he'll repeat what he said until he gets a response.

This four year old is learning to read. We would probably be further along in that process if I had not been pregnant with twins for the last seven months but oh well. Three letter consonant-vowel-consonant words are fairly easy for him to sound out now, and he likes spelling simple words with letter puzzle pieces or the foam letters in the bathtub. He impressed me yesterday by figuring out how to spell "flat" pretty much on his own.

This four year old seems to have no fear of new situations. He has been to no less than seven houses in the past two weeks; at least two were completely unfamiliar people and homes. But he met each mom who came to get him with an enthusiastic "I'm going to your house today!" as she walked up our front steps and came home each day with stories of the fun he had. This trait, which we can take absolutely no credit for, is one that I am sure will serve him well as he grows up.

This four year old feels strongly. Big hugs, kisses and "I love you's" one minute, impassioned wailing about a perceived injustice the next. Zach and I just shake our heads sometimes because the issues that cause such outbursts seem so trivial to us, although clearly not to him. I pray that his passion will one day be directed to achieving God's purposes and not his own.

I see so much of myself in this little four year old, and so much that is unique. How glad I am to be his mommy! Happy Birthday, sweet boy.

31 Week Pictures

Today may have been our last ultrasound. The babies look great so the specialist doesn't feel like I need to come back for four weeks. And who knows if I will still be pregnant in four weeks?

So unfortunately, for a probable-last-pre-birth look at the twins, we do not have great pictures. Okay, Baby B has a good one:

But this is all we got for Baby A. Sorry little one!

And here's their mommy, more pregnant than she's ever been before.

So some tidbits from the appointment: Baby A weighs about 4 pounds, which is pretty much right on target, and Baby B is about 4 pounds 10 ounces, measuring about a week and a half ahead. The tech mentioned that A may very well be bigger but it's harder to get accurate measurements when the baby is curled up and really squished underneath his brother, who in contrast is quite sprawled out. So that is all good; intrauterine growth retardation is a risk of any twin pregnancy but these little boys show no signs of it. If I can stay pregnant for a few more weeks we ought to have healthy five or six pounders.

But...will I stay pregnant? I feel a lot better about being on bedrest after this appointment, because the ultrasound also showed that my cervix has gotten significantly shorter in the last month, and it shortens when pressure is applied. (The tech shows this by pressing on my belly but it's basically what happens when I'm upright. So it's good I'm not upright much.) Now the doctor certainly didn't act like that was a guarantee that the babies will come too early...but keeping in mind our birth history, our money would be on an earlier delivery rather than a later one. Every day counts and means better health for the babies. We're still hoping to make it to 34 weeks or beyond. But we won't be surprised if we don't make it that far.

We'd Hoped to Avoid it, But...

...I'm on bedrest now. Friday night I was having contractions that didn't go away even when I laid down so I headed off to the hospital, again. I was expecting to be monitored overnight and let go in the morning but I ended up staying til today. Long, long 36 hours. Despite the fact that my cervix is still unchanged and the fetal fibronectin test (which would detect impending labor) was negative, the doctor decided to administer Betamethasone, a steroid to mature the babies' lungs, just in case I do go into labor really soon. It's given in two doses 24 hours apart so I had to stay in the hospital. And then when he discharged me he told I was now on bedrest.

It's kind of frustrating, because the contractions that sent me to the hospital Friday were not really much different than what I've had for weeks. And all the clinical signs show that I'm not having preterm labor. But he used the phrase "err on the side of caution" several times so here we are. I am limited to the bed and couch from here on out; thank goodness I at least have "bathroom privileges!" Funny, our care group has been reading a book about contentment so I have lots of convicting thoughts floating around in my head. This doctor-ordered bedrest is really a God-ordained circumstance for our good. It is not easy to accept but I know it is part of His plan for these twins and the rest of our family. I am praying for increased contentment.

Before I even thought of heading to the hospital, Thursday was a hard day with the kids that made me realize I needed to cut back my activity even more. So Zach started cutting back his schedule to the bare essentials and I made arrangements for friends to watch my kids several mornings. Now we are in the process of expanding our pleas for help to cover all of the time he is at work. It is so humbling to have to ask for help and rely on others to do so much. I am endlessly thankful to have such a wonderful group of friends here--so many have already stepped up with offers to help.

So what am I going to do with myself? The day and a half I spent in the hospital got a little boring at times, even with lots of TV channels to choose from. (We don't have cable or satellite at home so channel-surfing is a rare experience these days.) And all that downtime was just the tip of the iceberg! Hmm. I've ordered some prints that I'll need to put in albums when they arrive. I realized a few weeks ago that there are some gaps I need to fill in to finish Esther's baby book. I never made a 2011 family video compilation. And I'm sure I'll read a lot. Any cool suggestions for other ways to fill my time?

Pigtails!

27 Week Pictures

I don't want to get all complain-ey, but I gotta say it, this pregnancy is getting hard.  Physically hard, emotionally hard. Random headaches, little pains from my joints loosening up, contractions, plus near-constant worry about whether the contractions are sending me into preterm labor...I just try to focus on getting through one day at a time. And try not to think too much about how many days are (hopefully) left.

Everything looks good right now, though, so much so that my MFM thinks the danger of TTTS is largely past and doesn't want to do another ultrasound for a month.  He also told me yesterday that he thinks the chances of making it to 36 weeks, and therefore delivering at Indiana, are good. Now, I'm a bit skeptical about that. After delivering my last (single) baby prior to 36 weeks, it's just hard for me to believe my body would hang on that long.  I know it would be best for the babies but I'm far from convinced it will happen.  And I really really don't want to deliver in Indiana, then discover one or both babies has a problem and needs to be sent to the NICU and hence away from me.  Been there, done that, trying to avoid a repeat. So that's something I may have to push with my doctors. I toured the maternity center and NICU in Johnstown yesterday, by the way, and really liked them. I would feel very comfortable delivering there and I really like the way the NICU is set up, should we need it.

Babies weigh about 2 1/2 pounds each right now, give or take 5 ounces each.  So I'm carrying a total of 4 to 5 pounds of baby. Goodness.  Feels like a lot more.

3 out of 4 pictures I was given this week were of Baby A's
profile.

And then I got this picture of Baby B's foot!  It was funny
how it appeared several times on the screen so clearly. At one point
this little one was kicking his brother in the behind.  Troublemaker
already. :)

Big Boy (Bed)

(Hey look, a post that's not about pregnant Courtney!)

After spending about two years in a crib and about two years in a toddler bed, Austin finally grew up to a real big boy bed today. We ordered it at the end of January and weren't expecting its delivery for a few more weeks but got a happy surprise this week. The look on Austin's face while it was being assembled in his room was priceless.  He eagerly brought me his pajamas, socks, underwear, etc. to put in the drawers and he couldn't wait to pick out some books and animals to put on the shelves. All through lunch he asked if he could go upstairs for his nap. (Which is especially funny because he only falls asleep once or twice a week these days.) Most days his rest time is on the couch downstairs but how could I refuse him the chance to take a nap in his brand new bed?  And he fell asleep--bonus time for Mommy!

Sorry, I think this is a bit blurry.

Bonus picture of Esther!
(taken by Daddy last night)

25 Week Pictures

Cute!

Just as cute!

Mommy at 25 1/2 weeks.  This post was a week in the making.

These are actually more like 24 1/2 week pictures of the babies; my usual schedule of visits to Johnstown is off a bit between the availability of the doctor and my childcare. (Love you, Liz!) I have had the same ultrasound tech three out of the last four times I think, which is neat cause I feel like she's getting to know me and the babies.  This was a quick visit to check fluid levels, etc, and everything looked fine. I talked to the doctor a bit more about end-of-pregnancy scenarios and this time he sounded more willing to take the pregnancy past 34 weeks if the babies continue to look as healthy as they have, but definitely no longer than 36 weeks.  Now that was before my weekend hospital stay; I think at this point Zach and I will be feeling pretty happy if I manage to not go into labor before 34 weeks.

One little note: if you actually view my blog (as opposed to using a reader) you might have noticed that I've changed my lilypie ticker a bit.  A few times, actually; I couldn't decide what end date to use and I realized I had put in the wrong starting dates. But I fixed my own errors and I've decided to optimistically set if for a 36 week pregnancy.  So May 6 is the date to which we're counting down. This weekend shook me up a bit; now every day feels like a little victory.

How I Spent My Saturday Night

Last night I had the dubious pleasure of an overnight stay at Indiana Regional Medical Center.  While the accommodations were sparkling clean and the staff was friendly and helpful...restful it was not.  Be assured, Mommy and babies are both fine but we were there just in case.

I've been having sporadic BH contractions for quite a few weeks but yesterday afternoon while looking at a magazine on the couch with Austin I noticed them consistently over a period of about 40 minutes.  Feeling contractions while completely at rest is unusual for me; I usually feel them when I get up from sitting or lying down, or when I climb a flight of stairs.  So I decided to lay down for awhile and drink some extra water, knowing that's what my OB would tell me to do.  The contractions abated except for when I got up to answer the phone. Then Zach called me downstairs to eat dinner and they started up again. So after dinner I called the doctor, who indeed told me to get off my feet and drink fluid, and that if they continued I would need to go to the hospital for monitoring. After feeling a few contractions while lying on the couch, we decided I should go to the hospital.

That was about 7:00, I think. I headed off to the L&D floor where the friendly nurses (and I mean that; I've never met a staff person at our hospital I didn't like) hooked me and the babies up and watched us for awhile.  No contractions detected. My doctor initially told them to watch me until 11 or so, but a few hours later he called back. He had changed his mind and decided I should be monitored overnight just in case.  So my wonderful friend Liz popped over to my house to get a few necessary items for me and brought them up and I prepared for a long night.

Sometime after midnight, following another session of monitoring the babies' heartbeats (they were on the monitors on and off; I had a uterine monitor on constantly), the nurse finally turned off the light and left me to try to get some sleep.  I was on my right side and felt a few contractions.  The nurse popped back in and adjusted the monitor.  A few more contractions.  She came back in and told me to lay on my back for awhile and see what happened.  Nothing, basically.  So after a bit she turned the light off again and I lay on my left side.  More contractions, maybe 6-8 in 45 minutes.  So lights came back on, doctor was called, an IV started to make sure I was super hydrated, and a drug administered to stop the contractions.  And I didn't have any more for the rest of the night.  And I even got an hour or two of sleep, which is an hour or two more than I was expecting.

My doctor came in to see me this morning and checked my cervix.  The good news is that these contractions are not causing any changes in my cervix; in other words, they don't seem to be signs of preterm labor.  The bad news...there's no way to tell at what point they will start causing cervical changes. So basically I'm just supposed to rest as much as I can, drink a lot of water, and if we have any concerns about the contractions I feel, back to the hospital I go. Not as black and white as I'd like the advice to be but there you go. Zach and I have been discussing how we can even further reduce the amount of activity I do while keeping his extra burdens to a minimum.  (Example: Esther is about to cease being a cloth-diapered baby.)

The last few days have been very hard for me emotionally and physically. Even though I know we're doing what's best for our babies, it is difficult not to feel terribly inadequate as a wife, mother, and homemaker.  It is so easy to worry about the possibility of early labor or having to go on bed rest.  My Bible reading plan brought me to Psalm 33 this morning while I was waiting for the doctor and I was so thankful for these words:


The king is not saved by a mighty army;
A warrior is not delivered by great strength.
A horse is a false hope for victory;
Nor does it deliver anyone by its great strength.
Behold, the eye of the LORD is on those who fear Him,
On those who hope for His lovingkindness,
To deliver their soul from death
And to keep them alive in famine.
Our soul waits for the LORD;
He is our help and our shield.
For our heart rejoices in Him,
Because we trust in His holy name.
Let Your lovingkindness, O LORD, be upon us,
According as we have hoped in You.


My hope and strength is not what delivers me, it is the Lord.  And He will lead us through the remaining weeks of this pregnancy, however many they may be.

Rest Day

This has been a busy week.  Actually, pre-pregnancy it would have been a rather average week, but a minimum of activity makes me feel quite busy these days.  Hosting a book group at my house Monday evening (and the cleaning required beforehand), making cookies for Austin's Tuesday preschool class, morning and afternoon doctor appointments yesterday and craft group last night...it's really not so much to do but I am just exhausted after the last four days!  And I can feel the consequences: more Braxton Hicks than I was feeling last week, despite staying well hydrated..

So today is a Do Nothing day.  It's raining outside, which makes staying in and Doing Nothing even more appealing.  Of course "nothing" is not exactly nothing when there is a three year old and a one year old on the premises, but I'm doing my best.  I brought the computer and a big stack of diapers downstairs this morning in an attempt to minimize trips up and down the stairs.  I'm spending lots of time on the couch while I watch the kiddos play. (Which takes a lot of encouraging; despite the DOZENS of toys in this room they seem to think that if I'm sitting on the couch they should just sit on the couch, too.)  We may very well break our one video a day rule.  And hopefully by the end of the day I will feel better.

23 Week Pictures

Do I look big?  I feel big.  This shirt will be retired after this wearing; wouldn't be keeping me decent if not for the Bella Band.

And that, friends, is a belly that only has 2.5-3 pounds of baby in it. The babies weigh 1 pound 5 ounces each, give or take 3 ounces, according to Friday's ultrasound.  Let's just try not to dwell on what it will feel like, adding nine more pounds of baby, okay? For my sake.

But the babies look healthy and that's what counts. Their growth is right on target, they are super-active, and fluid levels, bladders, blood flow, etc. look like they should.

The rather significant thing to come out of my US appointment last week was my MFM telling me that he feels there is more and more data supporting delivery of monochorionic twins at 34 weeks.  He says we'll definitely look at how the babies are doing and possibly go as far as 36 weeks, but I had the distinct impression that he favors an earlier delivery.  I've been doing some research myself today and finding mixed opinions, but enough that supports his idea to convince me that if he says deliver at 34 weeks, I won't argue.  That will probably mean some NICU time for the babies, something I'd really been hoping to avoid, but if it gives them a better chance at life and long-term health...obviously that's the priority.  An early delivery also means I will almost certainly choose to deliver at my MFM's hospital, which is 45 minutes away but has a NICU.

So 34 weeks...that is only 11 weeks away.  Whoa.  Lots to get ready before then, very little energy to do it with.

Storytime Cuteness

While reading a story with Austin before rest time this afternoon:

"Why does that pig have tutus all over him?"

Love it. :)