Pictures

Hmm, haven't posted any pictures in a while. Haven't been great at taking them, either, but I think I can find a few. In honor of the twins' five month birthday, let's say.

Grr, blurry, I know. Someday I would like to learn how to really use
the nice camera we bought. I do not know how to get two babies in
focus together. Obviously.

(Lack of photography skills apparent again.) But aren't these the most
awesome shirts? I love geeky humor.

I love love love the following series of pictures. Jude was in the swing a few weeks ago and we realized he was making one crazy face after another. Perhaps he saw himself in the mirror on the other side of the little butterfly?

Austin's first day of Pre-K4. Yes, we still plan to
homeschool, but we decided that this year, with
 the twins severely limiting how much we get out
and do stuff, it would be best for him to go to school.
He loves it so we're quite happy with our decision.

And finally, a video Zach put together (on his iPad, nifty!) from the sports class Austin took this summer through our local parks and rec department. I love it. Classic little boy stuff.

On My Side

"The God of the universe is on your side!"

Gina, a friend from church (and mother of five, including twins) spoke those words to me a month or two ago and they have been bouncing around in my head ever since. This parenting twins thing continues to be hard hard hard. I could go on at length about the latest challenges we're facing here, the sleeplessness, etc, but I'll spare you the details. There's always going to be a challenge (haven't noticed my big kids becoming suddenly easy to parent) but good news: The God of the universe is on my side.

Ponder that for a minute. Unworthy as I am, as prone as I am to make selfish decisions, react to the kids in impatience, fail to pray as I ought...God is still on my side. The unimaginably powerful God who created the entire universe cares personally for me. And He did not give us twins so He could sit on the sidelines and laugh at our failures. He gave us twins because it was His good and perfect plan for our family. To bring Him glory. To make us more dependent on Him. To sanctify us. And I have to believe that He is actively helping us through each and every hard moment. Easy to forget sometimes, at 3am when we're listening to a baby or two cry again, but then Gina's words come back to me. God is on our side.

Many mornings following hard nights I have gotten up and sought and found comfort in the psalms. "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." (Psalm 46:1) "How blessed is he whose help is the god of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord his God," (Psalm 146:5) "I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." (Psalm 27:13) I have been on the brink of despair over and over these past few weeks but I am ever thankful that God will not let me go.

A Bit More About the Meal Planning

One or two people have expressed curiosity about my monthly meal plan so tonight I figured out how to share it; click the image below and you should get to a Google doc that is big enough to actually read. You'll see that I made several little notes to myself, like a reminder that the Italian sausage I need for one dish is in the freezer (because we had extra when we cooked sausage for pizza). I try to be efficient with my ingredients and this month especially I tried to use up older freezer and pantry stuff when I could.

We are already a bit off what I planned; we have lots of leftover pasta sauce from our annual Tubaphonium Back to School party last night. So we'll eat pasta an extra night or two; might not eat soup from the freezer this next week. No big deal. It's been nice to look at the plan and know that 95% of the ingredients are in the house and I don't have to worry about when to fit in a trip to the store.

On the topic of efficiency/saving money like you were wondering about, Megan, I think the number one way I'll save money by planning and shopping monthly is that I did the big shopping trip at Aldi. So many staples are so much cheaper there but often in the past I haven't gone because I wanted to go one place and get everything I need. But now I know I can get most things at Aldi once a month, then the stuff Aldi doesn't have in our quick trips to the regular store for milk and produce.

If anybody out there wants to try this kind of shopping, I really recommend going to Raising Arrows and reading her posts about monthly shopping. I made my own master grocery list and despite its massive size, I found it easy to use and helpful for making sure I didn't miss anything at the store that we would need during the month.

Mommy Thoughts

It is the time of year that always fills me with a bit of sadness and a bit of anxiety: Zach's return to school. His summer is gloriously long and although he does quite a bit of work from home, there are so many hours for playing with the family that sometimes we almost forget that he has a job. But Indiana has filled up overnight with college students, our evenings are accompanied by the sounds of the IUP Marching Band...it definitely feels like school time again.

I know I have been unusually blessed to have had my husband home so much in the twins' early months and I have always known that that would come to an end, of course. The end of each summer with a new baby has been filled with thoughts of "how will we do without Daddy?" but naturally things seem a bit more extreme this time around. But as I was saying to a friend at church this morning, this is just the start of a "new normal." It may take us awhile to figure out exactly what the new normal should look like, but we'll make it somehow.

Practically speaking, lots of things have to be different in our new normal. For example, it is all but impossible to take four kids grocery shopping when two of the kids are four month old babies. I suppose if I was really desperate I could put one baby in my Baby Bjorn, the other in his car seat in the cart, and have Esther and Austin walk...sounds a little crazy to me. (I have visions of Austin and Esther gleefully chasing each other around the store while I stare at the shelves unable to remember what I want because I'm so distracted by my crazy kids.) So weekday shopping like I've always done will probably not be part of our routine anymore.

I found a blog called Raising Arrows a few weeks back that has been enormously helpful as I've been thinking through the practical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of our new season. Amy, the mom who writes it, has more children (and wisdom) than me and her blog is full of good advice for managing a large family and keeping Christ at the center of it all. One specific idea I've gleaned is monthly meal planning and shopping. I have a few friends who do this but it had never seemed like a good idea til now. I dislike after-bedtime and weekend shopping so the thought of always shopping at those times depressed me, but one big weekend trip per month...that I thought I could handle. So I spent part of a few evenings planning and yesterday was the big shopping day. Now my pantry and freezer are stuffed, the month's meals are posted on the fridge...we'll see how it goes! We'll still need to make some small trips for stuff like milk of course but I don't mind running out in the evening for that.

The other thing that's been on my mind is my cleaning routine, or rather lack of a routine. Last year I made a neat little schedule with tasks for each day and I was actually pretty good at sticking to it. That lasted a month or two, then I got pregnant with the twins and all semblance of a routine ended. I can now tell you definitively that nothing really bad happens if you go a long while without dusting. Or cleaning the bathroom. Or mopping the kitchen. :) But to be serious, I desire a clean home and I want to get back into a routine that will help us achieve a clean home. So I ordered a pocket chart and am making a chore chart that will include myself and the two big kids. I have felt for awhile that it is time to give Austin a few more responsibilities but I haven't felt good at coming up with age-appropriate tasks. However, I taught him how to Swiffer Vac the dining room and kitchen the other day and he loved it. Score one for me and the house! Esther's part will mostly be stuff like putting away her pajamas and brushing her teeth, but with the craziness of twins going on, some days I need a reminder to even take care of the basics like that.

Sigh. It is getting late and Zach and I are hoping/needing to get up earlier tomorrow. So off to bed I go and so begins the new normal!

Another Month Gone Already?

Goodness, I was doing so well at blogging for awhile and then what happened? Got on a roll, I guess, and then off it again!

So what have we been up to? Let's see...Zach took the big kids to the zoo. I stayed home with the babies because I would have spent about 50% of the trip nursing. Not worth it. But apparently it was a good trip.

Elephant in the background. I wonder what Esther is looking at.

The aquarium was the real highlight of the day.

 There have been several more attempts at group shots. This one is a little blurry but otherwise not bad.

In the last couple weeks I feel like I've started seeing differences in the twins' faces. When I pulled this picture up tonight, I guessed correctly who was who.

But in case you didn't, here's the cheat sheet.

Probably our most significant activity of the last month was a weekend trip to Virginia for a wedding, that of Zach's longtime friend James. We stayed in a nice Homewood Suites that had plenty of room for us and all four kids. (Napping twins in one room, playtime in the other--awesome!)  Zach was away with the other groomsmen for part of Friday so the kiddos and I were left to amuse ourselves. Good thing we had a hefty supply of stickers.

Here is how Esther plays with stickers. 1) put stickers on paper. 2) take them
off and put them on legs or feet. 3) take them off again and put them on the floor.

 Then Daddy came back and more hotel fun was had.

Soccer-bowling with duplo pins--it's the next big thing.

And finally the wedding. It was a beautiful, Christ-exalting ceremony and a fun, family-friendly reception. James and Kat, we are so happy for you!

The reception was getting started right around naptime so Esther found a
nice spot for a snooze.

Then it was back to Indiana with Zach's parents and grandfather, who had come out east for the wedding. Our visit was unfortunately marred by nearly all of the adults spending some time under the weather (and perhaps explaining why I have no pictures of Pops--he had it pretty bad), but the kids stayed healthy and loved every minute they could get with their grandparents.

Gran made hats for everyone! Esther especially loves them and sees them as
all-weather apparel.

So that, more or less, is what we've been up to this month. Zach goes back to work for real next week and I will be responsible for these four little people 8+ hours a day. Gulp.

Three Months Old Already!

Newborns always grow up way too fast but never have I felt that more than with Joshua and Jude. Most days zoom by in a blur of nursing, changing diapers, holding fussy babies...oh yeah, and taking care of the big kids. And now the twins are three months old. Unbelievable. I wish I had been faithful to do monthly posts like I did for Esther but we'll have to be content with this.

I don't know for sure how big Joshua and Jude are since we haven't been to the doctor in a month, but unofficial weights according to our bathroom scale are 12.5 and 13 lbs respectively. Last month Joshua was 9 lbs 14 oz and Jude was 10 lbs 9 ounces. They started out off-the-charts small but are now right in the mix of average-sized babies.

Joshua and Jude continue to have long fussy periods in the evenings. Forget what I blogged about that phase maybe coming to an end. It is still very much a part of our life. BUT--a silver lining--once they fall asleep for the night they've been sleeping really well. They sleep a couple 4-5 hour stretches so I feel rested most mornings. And they nurse quickly at night so we all get back to sleep pretty soon.

I no longer nurse them together unless they are both desperately unhappy at feeding time. The dual football hold just wasn't working as they got longer--they'd kick themselves away from me. Nursing them one at a time takes only a bit longer so that's what we do. Good thing they are quick eaters because they eat about every 2.5 hours during the day.

Joshua and Jude are not great nappers; they often stay asleep for only 40 minutes. (Just like Austin and Esther at that age--what is it about my kids and short naps?)

The babies just started smiling a few weeks ago and they get more gregarious every day. I love their little coos and gasps of excitement. They follow Daddy with their eyes if he gets up and leaves the room. (Perhaps they do for me as well? But I'm leaving so I don't see it of course.) It's cute.

Joshua and Jude's personalities seem so similar right now, so if I seem to treat them like a single unit that's why. But here's a difference--Jude now likes baths but Joshua cries when it's his turn in the tub.

Both boys like to sit up rather than lay down. We thought they didn't like our swing and we were about to put it back in the basement, then one day on a whim I moved the back more upright and all of a sudden I had a happy baby. They like sitting in bouncy seats for short periods, too, finally. It's impossible to cook dinner while holding two babies, you know? So being content in a seat or swing is important when you're a twin.

Okay, let's see if I can find some decent pictures for this kind of post!

Freshly sprung from the hospital! Jude is on the left.

About one month--I think Joshua is on the left.

About two months--Jude is on the left.

Three months! Funny, I think they look really different here. Joshua is on the
left, Jude on the right.

His First Single

Zach got an iPad recently as a birthday/Father's Day/congratulations-on-your-promotion gift. One of the apps he's downloaded so far is Garage Band, which will be useful for work. But Austin likes it, too. So they recorded a bit this morning. Austin laid down the vocal track, then Zach added the instrumentation. If Austin ever makes it big, remember, you heard him here first. :)

Once a monkey, always a monkey

You might remember that we fondly refer to Esther as our monkey girl because she is such a climber and has been since she could move. I guess she likes the nickname! Here's a little conversation I had with her this morning:

Esther: (jumping on the couch)

Me: Esther, sit down please.

Esther: I naht-ney! (I'm a monkey!)

Me: Well, the monkey needs to sit down.

Esther: (sits down)

A few minutes later...

Esther: (jumping on the couch)

Me: Esther, sit down.

Esther: I naht-ney!

Me: Even monkeys need to obey their mommies.

Esther: (sits down) Soh-ee! (Sorry!)

Oh, how she makes me smile! Here's a little video from a few days ago, since I don't have any pictures of the monkey jumping on the couch.

Two Year Old Esther

Here is Esther's two-year birthday post, a mere three weeks late.

So Esther had a birthday! Since she's our little monkey girl, we celebrated with these.

Thanks again to Laura for teaching me how to make them!

All at once! My girl is not one to hold back where sugar is involved. Now
where did she get that from? :)

We opened gifts.

"We" of course including eager participation from the big brother.

Eager to try out her new sleeping bag!

Little fashionista...she just couldn't wait to try on her new clothes.

Letting pink baby try out the new doll accessories.

Then purple baby. I love hearing her say things like "pink baby turn," then
"purple baby turn" a few minutes later. Clearly around here we are familiar
 with the idea that babies have to take turns sometimes.

Two year old Esther is such a joyful part of our lives! She is a doll-mothering, dirt-playing, pretend-cooking, Duplo-building, "pitty-dess" wearing, couch-jumping, stroller-pushing, car-driving, dancing, snuggling little ball of energy. No lack of personality in this little girl!

Cloth Babies

Call us crazy, but we started cloth diapering the twins today. I've been contemplating the switch for a few weeks and finally realized life is never going to settle down enough to really feel like it's the ideal time; might as well give it a go. As Zach pointed out, if it just goes terribly (i.e. laundry piling up to the ceiling) we can always quit and go back to disposables. In fact, I've never thought we'd manage to do cloth full time with two babies. If we can manage half time or better I'll consider it a success. Think about it: using cloth half the time is the equivalent of buying disposables for one baby and you know how expensive that is! So every little bit of time spent in cloth helps our budget.

Joshua and Jude are big enough now to fit well in our diapers. Pretty cute, huh? In a fussy sort of way. They had just had baths and were impatient to be dressed/held/fed. But still cute of course.

Joshua

Jude

I realize I sound pretty optimistic about this whole thing today. Let's see how I feel in a few days when the lots-of-extra-laundry part of cloth diapering kicks in.

"Hoo's Hoo?"

So, can you tell our twins apart?

No? Maybe look from a different angle.

Still no? Twin on the left is getting concerned.

Might even cry about it.

Okay, you can relax. Because the truth is, we can barely tell the twins apart ourselves. Twelve weeks ago I was sure I'd be able to tell them apart easily by now but they are pretty much, well, identical. Each baby has a little red birthmark (Jude on his eyelid, Joshua on his left side) but they are hard or impossible to see in pictures, or in Joshua's case when he's wearing clothes. So...use the pacis. Works for us.*

Joshua and his monkey on the left, Jude and his giraffe on the right.

*Yeah, we know, soon they'll be able to grab each other's pacis. If Jude's birthmark fades by then we're in trouble.

Twinsanity

Goodness! I have not meant to let blogging go so completely by the wayside, but it has. Blogging, like so many other activities I used to enjoy, requires some measure of uninterrupted time and mental focus and, well, those are lacking these days. I have always felt pretty good about my ability to multi-task but lately taking care of the twins is consuming just about all my physical and mental energy. And this is with Zach home for the summer! I don't even like to think about what daily life will be like come late August....

A few weeks after the twins came home Zach and I talked about life with twins so far and we agreed that it was easier than we had been expecting. The babies slept so much so pretty much all we did was feed them, change their diapers, and let them sleep. And they'd sleep anywhere which was convenient. But sometime last month (probably not too long after their due date) they woke up to the world a bit and found their fussy voices. Specifically at night. Most evenings have consisted of several hours of on and off crying from both boys, despite holding, rocking, feeding, swaddling, administration of gas drops, Gripe Water, etc. Every parent knows how hard it can be to listen to an inconsolable baby. Two inconsolable babies...you can imagine the difficulty. One Sunday morning one of our pastors exhorted us to remind ourselves of all God has done for us in the past. The only thing I could think of was "Well God, you didn't let me jump off a building this week." One particularly terrible night I remember praying through my tears "Lord, I don't see how this shows goodness or kindness to me but I know You are good and kind so please help me!" And I didn't go jump off a building that night so obviously God's merciful hand was on me. :) But seriously, I knew having twins would stretch me and my faith in new directions and it sure has.

But (written in a very hopeful voice) I think we may be getting over that phase. It has really helped me, by the way, to remember that Esther went through a similar stage at just about the same age and it didn't last long in the big picture. The last few nights have had much less crying and our days have been smoother too. I think Joshua and Jude are starting to give us more recognizable cues when they're ready for a nap and as long as we respond quickly they take nice little naps in their beds. Thank you, Father, for this mercy!

There are more things I'd like to blog about but that will have to wait for another day. (So sorry, Esther, I did not do a birthday post for you. Aunt Megan says it's not too late--I'll try to get on that before your third birthday.) So here are a few pictures until I can manage more.

Jude (Good thing the paci is visible; that's the main way we
tell the boys apart these days! Keep the paci nearby and
nobody gets mixed up.)

Joshua (Man, these babies are cute!)

Little mirror images. Jude is on the left. I think. Let's call it 95% sure.

Austin and Esther enjoying the view from Grandpa's "tall office
building." More about our visit to Grandma and Grandpa later, I hope.

More of My Four

We found ourselves with four freshly bathed* kiddos on the bed this morning and the camera within reach. Cuteness ensued.

Esther was in a more cooperative mood than last week

She even smiled!

That's Jude in red and Joshua in green, by the way.

Hey, can I hold a baby, too?

Joshua is not super thrilled that Mom and Dad agreed to that request.
But the big kids were trying to soothe the babies really sweetly.

Bonus pictures of the four, not together or necessarily freshly bathed. :)

Esther with "pink baby" and "purple baby." I know, our creativity in naming
leaves something to be desired.

We finally bought Austin a helmet for the trike
he got for Christmas. It is Cars themed so of course
he looooooves it.

We don't usually co-sleep the twins but we tried this out yesterday
during a nap to see if it will be feasible to just take one pack n play
on our upcoming trip. Sweet babies.

*Freshly bathed didn't last long. Before you're a parent you think you'll be dealing with behavior issues like arguing, not picking up toys, etc. No one tells you your biggest struggles might include a little girl who lets her milk/juice dribble out of her mouth and down her shirt. Over and over.