Endings

Three of my four children experienced a significant ending of one sort or another this week. First Austin's Pre-K4 class completed the year with a pizza party on Monday and a graduation program on Wednesday. I got, if not exactly emotional, at least reflective when I saw his backpack on the floor near the front door Monday afternoon. He dropped it when he came in and took off his shoes, and it struck me that I need to find a new home for it. Picking it up and hanging it in its usual spot on the doorknob of our coat closet is no longer the right thing to do because I won't be sending a child out the door to school any more. Possibly ever. Wow.

An aside...I've been wondering how much Austin really understands about what it means to be homeschooled; after all, we've done some math and phonics at home this year even as he's gone to preschool three mornings a week. Would he think that hybrid will continue? But Mrs. McCullough, his teacher, told me when other children went next door to visit his school's kindergarten class, he matter-of-factly said that he'll have school at home with Mommy next year. So he gets it, I think.

I am so satisfied with our decision to send him to Seeds of Faith this past year, though. He made huge strides in his writing and coloring, and he made lots of little buddies...I hope we can maintain those friendships. Wednesday's program was cute, as nearly all programs involving eleven four and five year olds are.

Singing "I am a promise" with their capital Ps.

The second ending is of an entirely different sort. This morning I nursed Joshua and Jude for the last time. I'll admit, I cried a little bit. I was somewhat sad when Austin and Esther stopped nursing but they seemed ready; Joshua and Jude on the other hand have seemed to depend on their morning feeding quite a bit. And knowing that they are my last babies, the last little ones who will depend on me in such a physical way...gosh, I'm crying again. The twins are not snugglers so breastfeeding them has provided a few minutes of snuggly time each day that I treasure.

So why stop? The primary reason is that Zach and I are taking a just-us trip in two and a half weeks so weaning has long been a goal prior to our departure. And they are thirteen months old. My goal with all the kids was to nurse them to a year and I did it with all four. But it's still hard to give up.