Twins Update

Hard to believe almost a week has gone by since the twins were born. Time goes by very fast with daily trips back and forth to Johnstown, lots of pumping sessions while I'm at home, trying to squeeze in a little time with our big kids.... Without a doubt this time around the NICU experience has been easier because we basically know what to expect, but that doesn't exactly make it easy. I'm sooo glad to be off bed rest and yet I hardly have time to do a thing; we're still relying on my mom to keep the house running and the big kids fed and clothed. I am getting very anxious to have those babies home. Life will still be crazy but craziness in one location is better than craziness in two towns 45 minutes apart.

The boys are doing better each day. Joshua stayed on oxygen through a nasal cannula for only a day or two and has been breathing room air since. Jude needed to go on CPAP for a few days but is now getting O2 through a nasal cannula; hopefully that will disappear in a day or two. Joshua was allowed to start nursing on Wednesday and has done a bit better each day; he latched on for about 15 minutes continuously last night, practically a normal newborn feeding! So nice. Jude nursed for the first time yesterday and is still figuring things out, but the nurses seem to think it's quite normal for his gestational age. The boys get the rest of their nutrition through breastmilk delivered via a nasal tube; their IVs were removed this morning. Zach and I are actually staying overnight at the hospital this evening to give them extra practice breastfeeding because being able to nurse and gain weight is probably the biggest hurdle they'll face before coming home. Hopefully my milk supply will pick up in the next day or two. With last night and tonight's increase in feeding amounts, I am no longer pumping as much as they need. They may need to be supplemented with formula (hopefully only temporarily), which is really tough for me to accept. I am sure all the stress I am putting on myself about not pumping enough is not helping matters. Sigh. Like I said, this is not an easy experience.

Now that Jude's CPAP mask is gone, we've had more opportunities to look the boys full in the face and get to know them. We think they look more alike than a few days ago. Their hair is darker than we first thought; maybe dark blonde like Esther and me. But otherwise we've had comments that they look like Austin and we're inclined to agree. Let's see:

Joshua
(sorry, we don't have a good picture of Jude by himself
up close--all the extra tubes and wires have kept us
from holding him as much as we hold Joshua)

Jude and Joshua
(When we put them next to each other this
evening we started getting nervous about telling them apart
once all the medical apparatus is gone--they look pretty
similar, huh?)

Austin
(Boy, he looks chubby compared to the twins! And he was
less than seven pounds.)

Birthday Boys

Joshua (left) and Jude (right)

Happy Birthday, Joshua and Jude! (And Uncle Heath, too!) Joshua David was born at 5:10 this morning, measuring 4 pounds 14 oz and 17 ¾ inches; Jude Andrew was born at 5:15, measuring 5 pounds 6 ounces and 18 inches.

Even for us, this birth was a quick one. I was lying awake in bed this morning (lots of pregnancy insomnia for me in the last few months) when I felt something like a punch in my stomach from the inside. Didn’t feel like an ordinary baby kick, much stronger and it hurt! Then I felt the fluid and I knew my water had broken. That was around 3:45. So Zach and I got dressed, finished packing my bag, woke up Mom to let her know what was going on, and were headed to the hospital by around 4:15.

We live close to our local hospital so it was about 4:30 when I was getting into the hospital gown and getting hooked up to the monitors. And that’s when my contractions (which, you know, I’ve been having for about two months) started getting uncomfortable. And uncomfortable turned into painful within five minutes. The contractions were coming one after another; at most I had 30 seconds between each one. The nurse checked me and I was 8 cm shortly after arriving but by the time they called the doctor and he arrived (thankfully he lives close, too) I was fully dilated and ready to push. Joshua was born, then they did a quick ultrasound to make sure Jude was head down. He was and so was born with the next contraction.

If you’re doing the math, that’s a mere 40 minutes of real labor and births only an hour and a half after my water breaking. Crazy.

Joshua’s condition looked pretty good from the beginning, but Jude stopped breathing after his first cry and had to have some extra attention from the doctors and nurses. Then he seemed okay. But within a few hours it became apparent that they were having some respiratory distress, Jude especially. So our pediatrician made the call to send them to a NICU. That was not what we were hoping for, obviously, but given their gestational age (34 weeks 1 day) we were not surprised. Their condition, especially Jude’s, is quite similar to Esther’s a few years ago so it feels like familiar territory we are walking through. I am so thankful for the way God arranges the details of our life: that scary, emotional experience a few years ago has allowed us to approach this chapter of our life with more confidence and less fear.

Zach got to go visit the babies this afternoon in their new hospital home. (We opted for a different NICU than Esther went to, one that is only 45 minutes away.) They are doing pretty well. Both are on supplemental oxygen through a nasal cannula, Joshua at 20% O2 (close to the concentration of regular air) and Jude is at 35%. Their blood tests look okay so far so no antibiotics at the moment. Their NICU nurse was impressed by their size considering their age.

But enough medical stuff. These babies are cute! They have blond peach fuzz and adorable noses. Do they look identical? I guess so. Jude is noticeably bigger in person but I already have trouble telling them apart in pictures. We haven’t spent enough time with them to know if there are any easily-seen birthmarks…I’m kind of hoping for something like that.

I am hoping to be discharged tomorrow morning, then I’ll be off to Johnstown to spend some time with our babies!

Joshua

Jude

Joshua showing off the pouty lip he inherited from Esther

Jude ready to go to Johnstown

34 Weeks...Ready?

In the weeks before I was put on bedrest (i.e. when I still went out and saw people occasionally) I got asked a lot if we're ready to have our twins. Hmm...good question. Is one ever ready to add two newborns to a household that already includes small children? I think probably not.

But ready or not, they're coming soon. In a pregnancy that we have always known would not last a full 40 weeks, getting to 34 weeks has always been a goal, with 36 weeks like icing on the cake. (One post I read on a message board said 34 weeks with twins is like a bronze medal, 35 weeks a silver and 36 weeks is the gold. I like that analogy.) So here we are at 34 weeks! Two weeks or less to go.

In terms of equipment, clothes, etc. we are fairly prepared. We have yet to acquire a non-jogging double stroller but otherwise I think all major baby items are in our house already. We have two cribs and two pack n plays. Two exersaucers, one swing, a couple bouncy seats. My mom has spent hours organizing both baby and big kid clothes so that all four children's things fit neatly into the kids' closets and drawers. (Thanks, Mom!)

But a big question on my mind is, is my heart prepared to be a mommy of twins? I know this is going to be a season of exhaustion, busyness, and sacrifice for my kids like I have never experienced before. And I am by nature a selfish person. Praise God that through Christ He has not left me in my natural state! I will need His grace and mercy more than ever in the days to come. I have been slowly reading Loving the Little Years by Rachel Jankovic lately (slowly because there's so much to digest) and it has given me much insight into particular areas where I struggle and need/will need God's help as I parent (gulp!) four four-and-unders. Might even have to dedicate a blog post or two to some of the ideas rolling around in my head from that book. So good. If you have little ones, it's a must-read.

But for now it's time to lay down again...I am doing my best to be an obedient bed rest patient. :) Having (somewhat surprisingly to us) made it this far, I'm newly encouraged to do everything I can to keep the babies inside til 36 weeks. Going for the gold!

Two cribs! One of them is serving as a "safe-from-the-kids"
storage area at the moment but it will be ready when needed.

Look how nice Grandma made Esther's closet look!

A Special Visit

This is kind of old news, but since the blog is the closest thing to a scrapbook that I have I wanted to write about it anyway. I'm talking about the amazing visit I had from my sister recently. But not just my sister: she brought my new little niece, Olive May, with her!

My mom had been planning a visit to us for quite a while and when I got put on bed rest she moved up her arrival by about a week. So the Thursday before last I was just sitting on the couch waiting for her to get here. She walked in the door...and then my sister came in right behind her with an adorable baby girl! To say I was surprised is an understatement. Shocked! Amazed! And totally touched that Megan would drive 900 miles with an infant to visit us.

Thanks for brightening up a few days of bed rest, Megan and Olive! I love you!

A Little Dinnertime Guilt

Esther is not a great eater at dinner time. She usually eats her veggies (as long as we serve her favorites: corn, peas, or carrots, and recently, broccoli), nibbles on and perhaps even makes a sizable dent in any bread being served, but an entree...forget it. If she eats three bites we're thrilled. Finish the portion and we're over the moon. And as long as she'll eat one bite, however tiny and even if we have to force it into her mouth, we have come to terms with this and feel like we're doing all right as parents in the food department.

So last night we had leftover Easter ham, corn, and parmesan bread for dinner. Esther actually ate a fair bit of everything (ham is probably her favorite meat) so when she started playing with her food instead of eating it Zach asked if she was done; we were more than satisfied with her consumption. She said "uh-huh," followed immediately by a hopeful "teet?" (treat). Yikes! Scary when a child thinks dessert is a given before the age of two! Can you tell we've had a long streak of Christmas candy/Valentine's candy/desserts brought with dinner from friends/Easter candy?

Four!

Brand New

One

Two

Three

And now four!

I have felt something similar each year: I can't believe I have a (1,2,3) 4 year old! Four years since this little boy popped into the world and made me a mommy. As I've heard it said, the days are long but the years are short. When he climbs on the bed or couch to snuggle with me, I remind myself to enjoy it because all too soon the day will come when he doesn't want to snuggle with Mommy every day. Although parenting this four year old brings its share of frustrations, they are far outweighed by the joys.

This four year old, who hardly spoke real words until age 2 1/2, is now a big talker! He often asks the meaning of unfamiliar words and is developing quite a large vocabulary. It is fun (or convicting) to hear things come out of his mouth that surely came out of our mouths first. And when he talks, he expects a response...or he'll repeat what he said until he gets a response.

This four year old is learning to read. We would probably be further along in that process if I had not been pregnant with twins for the last seven months but oh well. Three letter consonant-vowel-consonant words are fairly easy for him to sound out now, and he likes spelling simple words with letter puzzle pieces or the foam letters in the bathtub. He impressed me yesterday by figuring out how to spell "flat" pretty much on his own.

This four year old seems to have no fear of new situations. He has been to no less than seven houses in the past two weeks; at least two were completely unfamiliar people and homes. But he met each mom who came to get him with an enthusiastic "I'm going to your house today!" as she walked up our front steps and came home each day with stories of the fun he had. This trait, which we can take absolutely no credit for, is one that I am sure will serve him well as he grows up.

This four year old feels strongly. Big hugs, kisses and "I love you's" one minute, impassioned wailing about a perceived injustice the next. Zach and I just shake our heads sometimes because the issues that cause such outbursts seem so trivial to us, although clearly not to him. I pray that his passion will one day be directed to achieving God's purposes and not his own.

I see so much of myself in this little four year old, and so much that is unique. How glad I am to be his mommy! Happy Birthday, sweet boy.

31 Week Pictures

Today may have been our last ultrasound. The babies look great so the specialist doesn't feel like I need to come back for four weeks. And who knows if I will still be pregnant in four weeks?

So unfortunately, for a probable-last-pre-birth look at the twins, we do not have great pictures. Okay, Baby B has a good one:

But this is all we got for Baby A. Sorry little one!

And here's their mommy, more pregnant than she's ever been before.

So some tidbits from the appointment: Baby A weighs about 4 pounds, which is pretty much right on target, and Baby B is about 4 pounds 10 ounces, measuring about a week and a half ahead. The tech mentioned that A may very well be bigger but it's harder to get accurate measurements when the baby is curled up and really squished underneath his brother, who in contrast is quite sprawled out. So that is all good; intrauterine growth retardation is a risk of any twin pregnancy but these little boys show no signs of it. If I can stay pregnant for a few more weeks we ought to have healthy five or six pounders.

But...will I stay pregnant? I feel a lot better about being on bedrest after this appointment, because the ultrasound also showed that my cervix has gotten significantly shorter in the last month, and it shortens when pressure is applied. (The tech shows this by pressing on my belly but it's basically what happens when I'm upright. So it's good I'm not upright much.) Now the doctor certainly didn't act like that was a guarantee that the babies will come too early...but keeping in mind our birth history, our money would be on an earlier delivery rather than a later one. Every day counts and means better health for the babies. We're still hoping to make it to 34 weeks or beyond. But we won't be surprised if we don't make it that far.