Your Big Question Answered

Dear Esther,

Baby girl, it looks like we’ll be able to keep calling you that for a long time because this spring you are going to get two new brothers! That’s right, you’ll have three brothers. I know, that’s a lot of little boys running around the house! But a wise friend reminded me via her blog that God knows what is best for our family and it looks like that means more boys for us.

You know, I’m pretty sure you will get along just fine as the only girl in our family. You love to throw things—you and Austin like to grab magnets from the fridge and hurl them across the kitchen—so when the boys go out back to play catch I don’t think you’ll be left behind. You can already cram food in your mouth pretty fast, so no worries that your brothers will gobble up all the cookies before you get one. And although you’re still tiny, your little personality is a force to be reckoned with—I don’t think you’ll let the boys get away with voting you down 3-1 when there’s a choice to be made. And if the boys do get to be too much on occasion, well, you’ll have your own room someday, a little girly haven to which you can escape.

Esther, having a daughter is a blessing I was not at all sure I’d ever receive, at least not since I married into the Collins family! You are such a joy to me and although I love all my children, you have a special place in my heart as my one and only little girl.

Love,

Mommy

Baby A at 13 weeks

Baby B at 13 weeks

Baby A at 16 weeks

Baby B at 16 weeks

Merry Christmas!

In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be registered. This was the first registration when Quirinius was governor of Syria. And all went to be registered, each to his own town. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the town of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David, to be registered with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child. And while they were there, the time came for her to give birth. And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.

And in the same region there were shepherds out in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. ⁹ And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with great fear. And the angel said to them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger.” And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!”

When the angels went away from them into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let us go over to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has made known to us.” And they went with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in a manger. And when they saw it, they made known the saying that had been told them concerning this child. And all who heard it wondered at what the shepherds told them. But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart. And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen, as it had been told them.

There was a bulldozer at the first Christmas, right?

Praise and glory to God for all I have seen and heard!  Thank you, Father, for the amazing gift of Jesus!

Christmas Trip

After getting the thumbs up from my doctors on Monday and Tuesday, we took off early Wednesday for what will likely be our last big roadtrip before the twins are born...or for a while after it, most likely.  We were worried that the doctors' orders to stop every hour and a half would make for really slow progress but we actually made great time--I think when we stop so often, our stops are shorter.  The 900+ miles we've traveled so far didn't seem too bad; I'm thankful once again that our kids are pretty happy in the car.  But we are so glad to be here! Christmas with family is just wonderful.

Before you travel, of course you have to
pack.  I let Austin pack his own little
backpack.  And then I packed a separate
container of things I thought he would
actually play with. :)

We took a break at a mall in suburban Indianapolis.
We managed to take a few cute pictures before a
member of mall management came and told us it
was against mall policy to take photographs in the mall.
Sad world we live in, when you get scolded for taking
pictures of your own kids.

Fellow Cake Wrecks fans, we have a carrot jockey!

Sleepy Esther...

...aaaaand sleeping Esther.

Austin loves this Bible puzzle book.  I only had to pick it up
off the floor four or five times.

Chillin' in the Terre Haute hotel.  Check out
her pants: that's what happens when everything you
feed her (which you thoughtfully picked out
to be non-messy) gets spit out, half-eaten, and ends
up on her clothes and carseat.

More chillin'.  Hey, we're a family without cable or satellite TV.
When we encounter an HD TV with the Disney Channel, it
tends to capture our attention.

Day 2 in the car: The Foot Book buys us some serious miles.

As does a video or two. 

We arrive at last!  And Grandma immediately
puts Austin to work helping with the cinnamon rolls.

We were worried that Esther might have a "warming up" period
with my parents, but Grandpa came in the door from work and she
ran right over and asked to be picked up. So sweet!  I think this
little girl knows that her time as the baby of the family is running out.

16 Week Baby Pictures

Today's ultrasound showed two healthy babies!  Unfortunately we don't have any pictures of the two of them together but we like these profiles.  Do they look the same? :)  Like last time, Baby A is blurrier because Baby B is in front; I think they will remain that way because of where the membrane is between them.  The tech kind of had to smoosh the probe into my side to even see Baby A.  Baby B is a bit bigger than Baby A but both are measuring within the normal range, so again no signs of TTTS.  We didn't get to see a lot of wiggling around because our tech was doing the measurements quite quickly; it would have been nice to just sit and watch the babies for awhile.  Oh well, can't complain when we get to see them so often.

Because you're all wondering, yes, we know the gender but we are planning to tell our families in person before revealing it to the world at large.  In fact (guilty smile) we found out at the 13 week ultrasound.  Since we're having all our ultrasounds at a level 2 facility you can see the gender ridiculously early--we were not expecting to know until today.  So sorry, you will just have to wait a bit longer but it won't be a secret forever!

A little foot!  So tiny!  So adorable!

One small area of concern: yesterday and today I felt what I'm pretty sure were Braxton Hicks contractions.  I was pretty surprised, being only 16 weeks along.  They felt a bit different from what I remember with Esther and Austin but of course my uterus is much smaller than when I had BH contractions near the end of my other pregnancies.  I was thankful to have an appointment today so I could ask the doctor about this.  He said that since my cervical length is fine and I'm not having any other symptoms of early labor, the contractions are just my body telling me to take it easy.  And indeed, after sitting for awhile and drinking some water, the contractions went away.  But this does give me some concerns about the rest of my pregnancy.  If today's activity was too much (and I really wasn't doing a lot), then day-to-day life in a few months could be very difficult.

16 Week Mommy Picture

Nice ensemble, no?  Children's ministry shirt
(that I'm about to grow out of) and pajama pants.
Perfect lazy Sunday afternoon attire.

An ultrasound is scheduled for tomorrow afternoon so here's the mommy picture to go along with it.  Several friends have commented recently that I seem to have "popped" in the last few weeks.  I'm just thankful that I'm feeling good these days, gaining the weight I need to gain, and even managing to sleep pretty well at night.  The belly will be getting in my way soon enough but for now it's just the right size.

Nativity Cookies

This weekend we continued what I have tried to make an annual family Christmas tradition (although I think we missed last year, oops): making nativity cookies. It was especially fun because Austin is old enough to really participate in the kitchen.  We made the dough last night, then rolled and cut out the cookies tonight as we talked about what each part of the nativity scene meant.  Austin's favorite was the baby Jesus; he wanted to cut out lots and lots of those. He even picked a Jesus when it was time to choose a cookie to eat and it was by far the smallest!  I thought he'd go for a camel for sure.

Future Horned Frog or Snow White's Missing Dwarf?

Yogurt for Lunch (and other things that make me smile)

I handed over the spoon when the cup was mostly empty and
Esther had a ball.

Esther l-o-v-e-s the Bible. It seems to be a bit of an idol for her,
ironically.

I never get tired of watching a little boy arrange
his cars in a line.

I was playing with the continuous shooting function
so we told Austin to keep running around the loop through
the living room/dining room/kitchen.  Daddy and Esther are
chasing him.  Or maybe Austin's chasing them.  You never know.

Merry Christmas to Us

Zach and I cheated a bit and bought our Christmas present early, a Canon Rebel T3i.  We have been wanting  a DSLR for a while and with twins/probably our last children on the way, now makes more sense than ever.

The Black Friday ads in our paper spurred me to action because several stores had DSLR cameras on sale and I wanted to see if there were any deals that should be taken advantage of. So Thanksgiving (a quiet, just the four of us holiday this year) was largely spent doing research. My head was spinning by the end of the day but sometime on Friday we made our decision and placed an order.  And our beautiful camera arrived yesterday.

Aperture, shutter speed, ISO...these terms were a foreign language to me one week ago but I am slowly learning my way around this machine.  Let me emphasize slowly; I haven't even tried to figure out things like white balance and exposure compensation yet.  Usually I am kind of technophobic and let Zach figure out any new piece of technology that makes its way into our house, then ask for a tutorial on the basics, but I am pretty motivated to learn to use this camera.  For three and a half years I've felt like we are missing some adorable moments from our kids because our camera was just too slow to capture them.  Now there is hope.

So here are some early results of our experimentation.

I tried to take pictures of our Christmas trees with our old
camera and it just did not work.  Something about the lights, I think;
it was completely unable to get things in focus.  But this is pretty.

A little time with Daddy before he headed to work.

"Mom, what's he doing?"

For less than twenty-four hours practice with all these new bells and whistles, I am pretty happy.

13 Week Baby Pictures

I was so excited to see my babies today!  They have changed a lot since my last view a month ago.  They were lying sideways...kinda looked like they were just lounging in there!  Baby A was the super-active one today. (It was Baby B last time.)  The babies are measuring just as big as they should be and they are pretty much the same size; no signs of TTTS at the moment.  Their crown-rump length is just shy of 3 inches and they weigh about 2 ounces each.  It still seems just a little unbelievable that two babies are growing inside me!

Baby A is a little blurrier because Baby B was closer to
the front of my abdomen.

My lounging babies

13 Week Mommy Pictures

I have been horrible about taking belly pictures with my pregnancies so far. I start with the best of intentions but just never seem to manage weekly or even monthly photos.  But this time I'm going to try to take a picture along with every ultrasound...we'll see if I can keep it up!

So anyway, here's what the end of the first trimester looks like when you're pregnant with twins.  This is in the evening, by the way; I am a bit smaller in the morning.

Advice

From the dining room as the kids ate breakfast this morning, Austin offered this wisdom: "Mommy, the kitchen is a mess.  You will have to clean it up before it is not a mess."

Yes...you are right, Austin...thanks for the advice. :)

Three Crosses

Two others, who were criminals, were led away to be put to death with him. And when they came to the place that is called The Skull, there they crucified him, and the criminals, one on his right and one on his left....One of the criminals who were hanged railed at him, saying, "Are you not the Christ? Save yourself and us!" But the other rebuked him, saying, "Do you not fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? And we indeed justly, for we are receiving the due reward of our deeds; but this man has done nothing wrong." And he said, "Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom." And he said to him, "Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise." (Luke 23:32-33, 39-43)

Yesterday morning Austin woke up and crawled into bed with me and Zach, which has become the usual routine on holidays and weekends. While we chatted Zach mentioned that Austin had chosen to draw some crosses the day before while he was outside using sidewalk chalk. "Jesus died on the cross to pay for all the bad things we've done," Austin added; "I drew three." I told him it was interesting that he drew three because there were actually three crosses the day Jesus died. I explained how two other men were crucified with Jesus and how one of them went to heaven that day because he asked Jesus to forgive him for his sins but the other man didn't go to heaven because he didn't ask Jesus to forgive him. Long pause. "Why didn't the other man go to heaven?" Austin asked. "Because he didn't ask Jesus to forgive his sins, " I repeated. Another long pause. Then, unprompted, in a halting voice, a little boy voice prayed "Lord, forgive us for all the sins we've done. In Jesus' name, amen."

Tears came to my eyes as I heard his words. Parenting this three year old is so challenging and I feel like I fail to show him Jesus like I should more often than I succeed, but those words were a precious reminder that God is at work in my little boy. Lord, help me continue to plant seeds that you may one day bring this boy into your Kingdom!

Campout

Zach and Austin went camping last weekend.  In our living room.  Yeah, we're not real outdoorsy in this family. They had a great time. A fire was built, a tent was constructed, and smores were consumed. They were up late (for a three year old) but then all was quiet for the night; Austin stayed put in his sleeping bag until his usual (early) wake-up time. Zach is such a fun dad.

Another Post about Food

Sorry, but it's what's on my mind lately.  Pre-twin pregnancy, I would have thought that "getting" to eat lots and lots because you're growing two babies made you a lucky duck.  Turns out it's not so easy. With Austin and Esther I never made a conscious decision to eat more; I ate when I was hungry and if I felt like eating a cookie when I wasn't hungry I felt no guilt.  And I gained a little over 30 pounds with each baby, I think.  Near the top of the recommended gain for a singleton.

But this twin thing, goodness!  I eat and eat all day long, making myself eat even when I'm not hungry.  I drink at least 2 cans of nutritional supplement a day at 250-350 calories each.  And I have gained 5 pounds.  That's it! My two doctors disagree about how much weight I should gain in the first 20 weeks of the pregnancy: my MFM says 10 pounds and my regular OB says 20. According to the reading I've been doing on my own in the past week, 20 or even more sounds best.  Early weight gain in multiple pregnancies is linked to higher birth weights and longer gestations.  With a preemie and an almost-preemie in our family, I really want to do what I can to keep these babies inside as long as possible.

Also according to my reading, to achieve this kind of weight gain, I have to consume more than 3000 calories a day. That is a lot of food!  I am having to re-think the way I shop and plan meals and snacks.  Although we're far from vegetarians, we don't eat a lot of meat and it is rarely the centerpiece of a meal, but now I am supposed to eat several full servings a day.  Good thing I like dairy because 8 servings a day are recommended.  (Good news, though, ice cream is a good choice because of its high fat and calcium content.)  Add 2 eggs, 10 servings of grains, 7 servings of fruit and 4 servings of veggies and you have quite a task for the day.  So I spend most of my day thinking about what my next meal or snack will be and contemplating how I could increase its nutrient or calorie content.  As I write this, I'm sipping away at a smoothie made from tofu, pasteurized egg whites, dry milk powder, yogurt, fruit and fruit juice, good for a serving of meat, 2 of dairy, and 2 of fruit.  Not the yummiest smoothie I have ever had, but good for the babies.

So, 5 pounds down, 40-50 to go.  In about 24 weeks.  Now excuse me, it's time to figure out what's for lunch.

Troping

Do you know the Bob the Builder theme song?  Okay, so imagine Austin singing that melody with these words: "Oat squares are my favorite kind of food, I will eat them all the time."  That was how breakfast started today.  How I love this musical little boy!

Oh, Zach says it's called troping when you do that.  So there's your music lesson for the day.

Courtney v. Food

Have you ever watched Man v. Food?  It's a Travel Channel show where the host goes to different cities to take on eating challenges.  Six pound burritos, pizzas with a 3 foot diameter, the hottest chicken wings on the planet, that sort of thing.  It's one of our favorites and probably constitutes 30% of our Netflix viewing.  (The other 70% is Bob the Builder, Veggie Tales, and Busytown Mysteries.)

Well, lately every night at dinnertime I feel like I'm in my own personal eating challenge, except instead of a 72 oz. steak I'm staring down a single stuffed shell or three meatballs or something similarly small.  "You can do it" I tell myself.  "You need to eat this for the babies."  I don't have morning sickness, I have evening sickness.  Almost by the clock, around 4PM every day I start feeling lousy.  Zach comes home from work and I tell him what the plan is for dinner and ask him to make it.  And he does, without complaint, every day for the last three weeks.  Sweet man. Love you, honey.  Then I sit on the couch until he tells me dinner is ready.  I drag myself to the table, take a deep breath, and attempt to eat.  Usually I am successful and am able to eat a small meal. (Why is it that just when you need to eat a lot, your stomach seems to hold a quarter its usual amount?  I feel stuffed after eating the smallest things.)  But occasionally a trip to the bathroom precedes the first bite...and that's all we'll say about that. :-(  Although in those cases, I usually feel much better afterward and actually want to eat.

I know this kind of thing is really common but it's sort of new to me. I had such mild pregnancy symptoms with Austin and Esther that I was often tempted to worry that something was going wrong because I felt so good!  But this twin thing...well, now I'm getting a small taste of what so many of my friends have gone through with all their pregnancies.

To lighten up what I hope doesn't come across as a totally complainey blog post, I will say how thankful I am that I nearly always feel good in the morning and early afternoon.  The time of day when Zach is at work, conveniently.  So I eat a lot then, without problems.  (Props to Zach again, who often makes breakfast since I'm a little sluggish til I have some food in me.)  Still, I am looking forward to the day, hopefully soon, when food will sound good all day long.  Cause 500 extra calories a day is hard to achieve without all day dedication.

*Have I mentioned that Zach is awesome? He made the cool logo for me, just for fun.

Our October Surprise

We are expecting #3. And #4.  Twins!  Can you believe it?  And they're identical!  Crazy.

We have known I'm carrying twins for two weeks but today is the first day we've been able to be excited about the pregnancy.  At our first ultrasound two weeks ago (which I had because of some unexplained bleeding) we were told the twins were monochorionic/monoamniotic, which means sharing a placenta and an amniotic sac.  That kind of pregnancy is very high risk; there was serious potential for the babies to not even live to viability. So you can understand that we were trying to guard our emotions and prepare for any possibility.

But today we met with a specialist, had another ultrasound, and it clearly showed a membrane between the babies.  Praise God!  Our pregnancy is now monochorionic/diamniotic (one placenta but two amniotic sacs).  There are still some risks but they are much lower and our babies have an excellent chance of making a healthy entrance into the world.

So some details.  I am 9 weeks along.  My due date is June 3, although I will definitely have the babies before then.  Between 34 and 36 weeks is likely, depending on how they are growing and whether any complications such as twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome (TTTS) develop.  I will see both my doctor in Indiana and the specialist I saw today in Johnstown.  I will have ultrasounds about every two weeks to check on the babies growth and to look for signs of TTTS.

Rejoice with us friends, and thank God for His goodness. We have been walking through a bit of a valley the last two weeks but felt His presence the whole time. I read Psalm 145 the morning of that first ultrasound and verse 9 really stuck out: "The LORD is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made."  He made these babies, and his goodness and mercy is at work in them no matter what the end result of this pregnancy.  But I am so thankful that He has lifted from us the burden of an extremely high risk pregnancy.  Now I can start really thinking about what it will mean to be mommy to twins!  And it's a bit scary...

Aww, aren't they cute?  Baby B was quite active during the ultrasound
and showed us a little shimmy.